Two years ago today.

Two years ago today I found out that my baby was not going to be what I had expected.

To be completely honest, I was expecting a healthy little girl, (sorry Henry, I'm just keeping it real. I really wanted Lays to have a sister!) and got my special little boy.

  I'm sure glad I got what I wasn't expecting.

Last year I talked about what I had learned, so I thought I'd do it again this year.

Upon reflection, I have decided that I have learned that
the old adage- "Don't put off till tomorrow what can be done today."
has a sister- "Don't let what might happen tomorrow stress you out, and ruin today!"



On that day,

I remember I was dying,
 I kept thinking over and over,
 "am I going to have a boy, or a girl?"

The suspense was killing me.

Here is a little peek into how it went down.

Now for starters don't be jealous, because everyone has their own special gifts, but I'm just one of those people who can look at an ultrasound and actually see stuff! I know, I know, I'm amazing and you truly are jealous cause all you see are black and white swirly shapes.

 So, since I'm possessed with this special gift, I knew the second the ultrasound tech pulled up her first picture that I was having a baby BOY! I really was shocked! I remember saying to Tom-
"No one is going to believe it's a boy!"
Shortly after that is when I started to realize something was wrong.(here is where the freaking out started)  The lady wasn't talking to us at all. Usually they will say stuff like-

"I'm looking at the heart, it looks good"... yada, yada, yada, and so on and so forth.

We got silence, and "I'm just going to get the Doctor."

When I found out Henry had Spina Bifida I didn't know quite what it meant. After the Doctor went down the GINORMOUS list of things that weren't going right I asked her-

"What do we do?"

 As a Christian with strong beliefs on when life begins, and how it is not my decision to end it,
I was actually freaking out, and pleading-"What can you do to fix my baby?"

But as the Doctor didn't know that she said- "There are a number of options..."

I remember not even letting her finish the sentence by almost yelling out-

"I'm not aborting MY baby!"

To which she replied-"That's not what I meant."

It possibly wasn't, but during the next 5 months I had one Doctor tell me that it was going to be

 "a lot of work", and was I sure I was willing to do it?

I also had another Doctor congratulate me for deciding to have a "special needs" baby because

"most people would choose not to."

I also knew of one lady asking if it

wasn't cruel of me to choose to carry out the pregnancy?
I let these comments, and my own fears paralyze my days.

I lived in a constant state of stress and worry.
I was always thinking things like- "My poor baby!'
and "what do I need to worry about next?"
and "how the heck am I going to do this?"

All that worry didn't do any good, it just made those five months really hard.
So now I try every day to tell myself-
"Don't let what might happen tomorrow stress you out, and ruin today!"


As a 19 month old, Henry doesn't know, or care that he has all these things going on.

Frankly all he cares about is how to get into the dishwasher 1000 times a day, and who left the bathroom open so he can flood the toilet with t.p., and where's the grub?

So today I just wanted to celebrate my little guy who is teaching me that I can't plan everything, and that's o.k.! 

Every Monday (if everything goes according to plans he he he) Henry and I go to a "special needs" gymnastics class.  While there, I get a very good work out hefting my 30lb baby up, over, under, and through all sorts of things. I also get to socialize with the parents of the other children with all sorts of diagnoses. Whenever I get to know another Mom they all say two things-

#1. Their kid is a miracle.
and

#2. They feel that they are blessed by their child, and not the other way around.

I feel the same way!

I am so blessed to have this "T'amazing little spirit in my home.

He is brimming with joy, and beaming with so much Love.

These pics go backwards through this last year with my little Hank the Tank.

Daddy and Logan got you to smile for this pic. Everyone loves you so much Henry. I promise not one of us wishes you were a girl.

You are walking up a storm. The teacher at tumble time told me that she hardly ever sees kids with Spina Bifida walk on their own. I've heard of kids with less severe forms than you who don't even walk till their around 3 years old.

I had to throw in a few pics of you with your friends. After you figured out that you shouldn't sit on her, or grab her hair, you and little Miss Myla have become good friends.

All of your siblings adore you. They always stop what their doing, and try to play with you when you go by.

Did I mention you like to get into everything? You found the dryer lint bag. Yuck! Yuck! Yuck!

Oops, I left you in the back entrance for 5 seconds.

You love baby Anderson so much. In this pic you went all the way upstairs and got him one of Lays dolly bottles to drink.

Licorice face. Always a classic

The kids took this pic. I was trying to type something without you grabbing the keyboard. This is a natural hold we do on you wherever we go cause you grab everything!!! Side note, do you like my tan?

Nerd-o

You and your bestest bud Ty taking a snooze at the pool.

I love how at the end of this video you turn around and park your big old caboose right in my lap.

You did this all summer.

You try to eat everything!!!!

I think you're in love. Or at least smitten.

I tried to make these rice noodles, but they were gross, so I just let you guys play with them.

You were fascinated with the slimy little things.

First time starting to stand.

This was when you had to have an M.R.I.

The results weren't great, but they could have been much worse.

You are teaching me to take things one day at a time.

 I know that the road ahead is not planned, and lots of things can happen that we don't want to happen, but you are doing great today.

First Birthday

Ice Cream Sandwich Cake!

You have a gift for eating ice cream.

You can down it super fast, and we have never seen you get freezer brain!!!!

You make this face all the time. Yes it is a little freaky.

Awww, you love to snuggle.

And hit people.

First tooth.

I already miss my little baby Henry. Where does the time go?