Friday, May 21, 2010

Jacklyn thinks I'm a DRAMA QUEEN!

So I was sitting in my robe this morning reading Twilight.
I have two things to say in defense of that sentence. #1. It was cold this morning so the robe was keeping me warm, and I really was productive before I started reading. I had already made Logan his lunch for school, done family scripture study, had family prayer, made the kids breakfast, changed two stinky diapers, played with Henry and his "clipo hippo" for what seemed like forever, and rocked the little guy to sleep. #2. Dont' even try to make fun of me for reading Twilight cause it makes me happy right now, and I am good with that.
O.k. back to the story.
So I was sitting in my robe this morning reading Twilight and the phone rang. It was Logan's school, so I instantly thought that he must be sick or something, but that wasn't the case. Here is how it went down-
Me- "Hello?"
The office lady- "Mrs. Perry?"
Me- "Yes."
Lady- "Logan brought a snake to school this mor..."
Me- "Ahhhhhh!"
Lady- "Please don't be worried Mom it's o.k., and I take it you weren't aware of this?"
Me- "No, I am so sorry I had no idea!"
(How the heck did he slip that one past me? Yuck, Yuck, Yuck!)
Lady- "Well apparently his teacher did say it would be o.k., but she isn't here today and the sub doesn't want it in her room. We need you to pick it up so it can be put back in it's proper cage. The jar that it's in is way too small for it."
Me- "We don't own a snake! Logan got it from the pond by our house. I"m so sorry, but I can't come right now b/c my baby is sleeping."
(I was also thinking cause I'm in my robe and trying to read my book, but I didn't need to tell her that right?)
Lady- "Do you want us to just set it free?"
So, yada, yada, yada...
they set it free, and I apologized again telling them that I was "so sorry." I also remember saying  "that is just so gross!" at one point. So when I was telling Jacklyn this disgustingly hilarious story,
Jack said- "The funniest part was you freaking out when the lady told you!"
"I can't even make that noise!"
(F.Y.I., it's made by sucking in air while saying something AHHHHish)
"Ya DRAMA QUEEN!" 
So I guess my question for you is what do you think is the funniest part of this story?

Tuesday, May 18, 2010

Now That Was Fun!

 Logan got hit in the nose with a baseball last night at his game.
It immediately started gushing blood,so I went running out there with the only thing I could find,(Henry's Blanket) grabbed his head, and started walking off of the field.
When I got back, one of the other moms(a nurse) came running over saying-
"Mom you don't want to hold his head up like that!" (oops)
"You need ice!" (where the heck was I going to find that?)
"You need to pinch his nose right here!" (so when I tried to do it she moved my hand away and did it herself!)
Now I don't profess to know anything about such matters, but it didn't seem that bad to me. We got it to stop bleeding in less than 2 minutes. I was seriously thinking that he could go back out and play when the lady started saying stuff like- "You need to get this looked at mom!" (really?)
"I'm worried about a hematoma!" (what the heck is that?)
I seriously had no idea what that was, but it sounded serious so I took him home and called his doctor! I hate doing stuff like that, they always end up telling you to take your kid in cause they can't tell how bad it is over the phone. So I got him some pain killers and some ice, and we were off to the hospital. The whole time I was torn between me thinking it couldn't be that bad, and wondering if I was only thinking that cause I didn't want to pay for Logan to go to the emergency room which we all know is not cheap! By the way while this was all happening Jen yet again advised me to take a few pics so here they are.
Don't you think it doesn't look that bad? Well, when I got him in to the emergency room and the nurse asked him to rate his pain from one to ten and he said two I finally decided I was right.
It was so not that bad!
So I just looked at the nurse and said- " If this was your kid would you be in here?"
He couldn't answer me straight out, but what he did say was that it looked pretty straight to him and that they can't do anything if it is just a small fracture. I took that as a yes and decided to go home.
He was pretty cool and told me to come back if Logan started feeling sick, or acting "strange". So I had him sleep in our room so I could monitor him through the night. The only "strange" thing that happened was that Logan woke me up at 6:00am b/c he wanted to do some exercises on the arm of my treadmill! The weirdo!

***

And speaking of weirdos. Isn't this right pic just the silliest thing?
I was almost too embarrassed to post it, but I couldn't deprive you of such a perfect opportunity to laugh.
I swear the longer you look at it the goofier he looks!
 
Oh, and I just had to post some pictures of the rest of the crazies too!

Saturday, May 15, 2010

You Can't Always Get What You Want!

I am sad today.
Henry has a physical therapist who comes to our house every other week.
Yesterday she said what I had been expecting, but not wanting to hear.
Henry needs braces for his feet.
I thought it was coming, but it crushed me when it came.
I am so grateful that they are available for him, without braces Henry wouldn't be able to walk properly. We all know he is going to look too stinking cute with his fancy little personalized shoes, so I'm not sad that he has to use them. The part that makes a little piece of my heart break is that he needs them.
I will be fine, he will be great, but I'm just sad today.
"You can't always get what you want, but if you try sometimes well you might find
You get what you need!"
Good song!
Thanks for your prayers. He really is doing remarkably well, and we know why!

Monday, May 10, 2010

7 out of 10

 When I am pregnant I feel horrible, and I am just not myself the entire time. Then when I'm nursing my kids I am anxious and stressed all the time. I don't really realize how bad it is until I am done nursing and all of a sudden I am myself again. I laugh out loud, I can think before I react, and my kids are just easier to hang out with. So I was talking to Tom about it on mothers day (our 10 year anniversary is coming up) and we did some math. I have been either pregnant, or nursing a baby for 7 out of the 10 years we have been married! That means I have "not been myself" for 70% of our marriage!
When we realized it Tom said- "Yep, I'm looking forward to the next 10 years."
What a good sport eh? I just love him.
And so do our kids!

Thursday, May 6, 2010

A chat with Lays

The other morning I was having Jay unload the plastic stuff in the dishwasher. He does this every day, but today there was a lot of plastic!
He said- "But there is way more plastic today!"
So I said- "That's just the way the cookie crumbles!"
Lays was sitting at the table drinking some chocolate milk and asked-
"Mom are there cookie crumbs in my drink!?"
So I spent quite a while trying to explain how that was just something people say.
You know like yada, yada, yada, when you split the cookie it isn't very even, and yada, yada, yada, that's just the way it goes so you have to deal with it.
The whole time she was staring right at me, and looked like she was understanding everything.
Then when I was done she said-
"So there's no cookies in my drink?"
I think she understood the "yada, yada, yada," part perfectly don't you?

Tuesday, May 4, 2010

I have a great "how to" for ya!

 
"HOW TO" GET YOUR BABY OUT OF THE BATHROOM WITHOUT DIALING 911!
Has this ever happen to you?
Did you immediately call for a professional?
Did it result in a lot of unnecessary destruction?
Well, with just a few easy steps I can show you how to D.I.Y.!
HaHaHa
but all joking aside, this was my day yesterday! 

I spent over 35minutes staring at that little eye!

And these little fingers, trying to GET HIM OUT!!!!!
It started with Jay saying-
"Mom, Henry is trapped in the bathroom!!!!"
Right now you're probably thinking, "How could that even happen?"
The poor kid pulled the bottom drawer out. So there I am staring at my kid thinking,
"the door swings in, the hinges are on the inside. My hand won't fit through the side, or under the door.
WHAT DO I DO?"
So I had Jay, and Lay try. No go. their hands couldn't fit either.
I got a pencil and shoved it through the door and tried to slide the drawer shut, but Henry was leaning on it! That made the drawer 25lbs heavier so it wouldn't budge!
He also kept pulling the pencils away, the little turkey!
I just kept saying,- "Henry baby, shut the drawer!"
"Hen just shut the drawer!"
"Can you get off the drawer baby?"
As if he was going to understand or something!
I was really freaking out by now because Henry was so hysterical, so I called Tom.
By the way Tom rarely answers the phone. It is one of his character traits that I have not been able to "fix" (he also still hates to share his food, the weirdo!) so I have developed a system for when I call him.
#1.- no message = call back if you want, whenever.
#2.- message = listen to it, and call me back.
#3.- no message two times in a row = you had better answer the second call or I'll kill you! It Actually means an emergency, but either way it translates to an angry wife if he doesn't answer!
Don't judge him too harshly. Whenever I get angry with Tom my friends always say,
"Ya, but he cleans up without being asked, so you can't complain!"
So back to my story, Tom answered my second call! The system worked!
So he starts questioning me, and giving me suggestions. He said I should throw something that Henry likes through the crack so that "Hank the Tank" would get off the drawer. Good idea in theory, but the hole was so small we just hit Hen with the stuff which made him scream even louder! I was almost regretting using "#3." on him but then he offered to come home to help!  What a sweetie. So I got off the phone with him and called Jen. She said that another friend of ours had had the same thing happen to one of her kids.
I was so excited!
I must have been inspired to call her!
She had the information I needed!
She was going to save the day!
And then she told me that they had just slowly inched the drawer forward  by sliding something
through the door and slowly pushing it shut!
 SHOOT!
I should have realized it was to good to be true!
They never had a 25lb baby, come to think of it who really does?
Oh ya, me! I have the muscles to prove it! 
By this time I was so freaking out.
You can only take your kid freaking out on the other side of a door for so long before it seems like the end of the world! I was about to lose my "Mother of the year badge" and everything!
So I asked her if she thought I should call 911.
No one wants to ever call 911.
Then you have like 20 fire trucks come screaming over.
All the neighbors start appearing, and multiplying, and duplicating, and the next thing you know,
you're the neighbor who got your kid stuck in the bathroom for the rest of eternity!
I'm not lying, that happened to the people 2 doors down. They had 6 firetrucks, 1 water truck, and 1 police chief truck come over one night, and now there known as the people who "smelled smoke" in their attic. Everyone came out to see what had happened. It was a huge block party!!!
So we debated what they would do for a while, 
and then it came to me!

I didn't need the fire department! I needed a saw!
So this first pic shows how there was no way I could  have hurt Hen. You can see the drawer 2 inches above the saw, and Henry was leaning "SUPERMAN" style on the top of the drawer.
Once I cut the bottom off
I shoved my hand through,
got it stuck for a while,
wiggled it just the right way,
and reached the end of the drawer!
Jay was taking all of these pics by the way. It was Jens idea, so when I went to get the saw I grabbed the camera and let Jay snap away.
Isn't this such an adorably pathetic pic?
He was so mad at us when we got him out...
For about three seconds!
I was shaking  for at least an hour after this!
It was horrible, but I can already laugh at it too.
                                                                                          p.s. I hate the pics of me, and am mortified at the
                                                                                                state of my toes, but it is what it is!

video
p.p.s. I can finally use videos again so I had to add this. No one will probably see it but me, but it is funny. Funny in a horribly sad sort of way I mean!